Things have been crazy, and I haven't been able to blog as much as I'd like to. I wish I could make it a habit. It may very well become one once I go back to school and get into the groove (cue Madonna). Or it may fall to the wayside. I hope this isn't the case.

Today Nathan, Kyle, and I pretty much spent the day together, somewhat unintentionally. I actually had plans to meet up with Elizabeth - my second cousin, once removed or something absurd like that - at Coffee Grounds. I hadn't talked with her since high school, and had never hung out with her before. We made plans on Facebook and actually followed through with them. I was sort of apprehensive about how awkward it might be.

But I'm also working on this project (which - though it isn't done - is the picture at the top of this post), and because Kyle had the pictures I needed on his computer, I was at a standstill in terms of being able to work on it. I called him and asked him to bring them to Coffee Grounds, knowing that I would be there. I also mentioned that I was going there to Nathan while talking to him.

So when I got there, Kyle was there. He got a call from Molly. So she came. The three of us hung out for a bit, and then when Elizabeth came, she joined the table. After a while, Nathan showed up. And it was surprisingly incredibly comfortable. I really enjoyed the interaction.

But so we were there for a long time. Nathan left sort of sooner than the rest of us, but I think Kyle and I were there for about three hours. We all decided that we had to leave at about the same time. Then Kyle and I met Nathan at Sushi Umi to eat with Dee and Thomas (our eighth grade science teacher and her professor husband - both very zany people).

Sydney was our server.

And it was good. Interesting. Nathan and I probably drank about three pitchers of water combined. Thomas told us about sunscreen and nanotechnology. Dee told us about her plans for next year. Though it was sort of formal in that professional turned social type of way, it still managed to be a fun and relaxed time. Plus, Sydney was an excellent server.

After this, we went to Coffee Grounds to drop off Nathan's car and to warm up slightly. We picked up pictures and dropped off film, then went over to Wendy's house. Wendy was our hairdresser in high school, and it was pretty much the manifestation of much anticipated social interaction. Going to her house was interesting, because it was a contextualization of her that I had never had. Her friend was there, and the five of us just hung out, catching up and watching a couple of episodes of Robot Chicken.

Wendy and I went to the gas station to pick up a fountain drink. While we were there, I asked her if she was happy. She looked at me and said something to the effect of, "Right now I am. I'm very glad you guys are here." That made me feel good, because I kind of feel that way about everyone I've seen while being home. I just feel so grateful for all of the people who have enveloped me, comforted me, and entertained me during the past couple of weeks.

And I know that a couple of weeks ago, the things that I've been doing would not have been possible. I couldn't stop thinking throughout the day how much different my day would have been in the context of my relationship with Amy. There would have been a nagging sense of self-imposed guilt or a layer of weirdness in each one of the circumstances mentioned. I don't know where that guilt came from, but it was slowly killing me, in the way that not having the guilt is quickening my pulse and making me feel alive again.

I feel more like myself than I have in a long time. And I know that I am going to be able to shape my reality into something that I really appreciate and enjoy. I'm already living some of the things that I keep saying I want to do.

I want to be crafty.
I'm working on a project.

I want to write.
I'm semi-working on a story.

I want to reconnect with people I've let fall out of my life.
I'm making care packages for Miyuki and Yukiko.

I want to be a person I would want to know.
And I genuinely feel like I'm becoming that person again.