I woke up this morning with a knot in my stomach. It started last night, and I'm not sure what it is. I hoped that if I wrote about it, it would go away. It is a ball of stress. It is round and large, and it is rolling around inside of me. Sometimes parts of it break off and come up into my throat. It is the feeling I get when something is wrong. Because of this something wrong, I wasn't able to get to sleep until nearly five or so. I just managed to fall asleep before my room turned blue from the sunlight streaming in. I thought it might have been the fact that it was so late and I couldn't fall asleep that was keeping me awake. That happens occasionally, particularly when the hour of sunrise looms nearer.

But the ball was still there when I woke. I am not particularly tired, even though I only managed about five hours of sleep. I am just anxious. I doubt this has anything to do with Nathan coming. I doubt it has anything to do with anything I'm anticipating in the near future. I just want to know the source of this tension. I may not know it until it goes away. Wish me luck, people, I'm going to go on with my life. And I may take a bath on my way there.